Dear Dr. Bill,

In the fall I'm one of those so-called "soccer mothers"... in the winter I'm a "hockey mother." Naturally, I join several of the other mothers to watch our young teenage kids play. That's good. But, too many times, at these gatherings, I will hear a mother tell about grounding one of her kids for drinking at a Saturday night party... grounding one of her kids for drinking at a Saturday night party... Grounding him is also good, I guess, but then I'll hear her add, "at least, it wasn't drugs." In my mind, that's a bad thinking. Real bad.

Alcohol and alcohol only, not other drugs, nearly ruined my life. I'm now in recovery, but what can I tell these mothers without losing my anonymity?

Anonymous Mom

Dear Anonymous Mom,

I wish it was just a matter of telling them to "just look at the facts, Mom." In today's world, a parent, if he or she cares at all, must make the effort to get educated; learn the facts surrounding alcohol and other drug use by our kids, them, armed with these facts do something about it and stop leaving this parental responsibility to the schools. A weekly educational lecture series has been offered at no charge by us, at the Van Ost Institute for over a decade. A pitiful few parents of our teenage patients bothered to attend until their own kids were already in trouble, They didn't know what to look for until it was too late!! Most parents make sure their kids get shots or mumps and measles, but how many do anything to prevent them from becoming alcoholics which we know, if untreated, will surely progress and eventually kill them?

I must believe that the mothers that you refer to simply believe that just because alcohol is legally sold to adults that it is, somehow less dangerous for kids.... A belief which is simply not true. The fact is, the younger the kids who start using alcohol, the greater the risk of lifetime alcohol dependence.

This association of higher alcoholism rates associated with early use has been confirmed in an analysis of data from 1992 national survey sponsored by the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) of non-institutionalized respondents 18 years of age or older residing in the 48 contiguous states. Overall, 13% of these adults (n+27,616) were diagnosed with lifetime alcohol dependence. This figure changes dramatically when age of first alcohol use (not counting small tastes or sips) is taken into account. More than 40% of addicted adults who began drinking before age 15 and 25% to 39% of those who began drinking at ages 15 to 17 were later diagnosed as alcohol dependent. Other factors (family history, etc.) Must be accounted for but the fact remains, for example, that if alcohol use is delays until the legal purchase age of 21, the rate is only 10%. Bottom line: young adolescents are psychologically and psychologically more vulnerable than adults to addiction.

Still another survey, this one by the American Academy of Pediatrics, of 16 and 19 years old, reports that, on average, teens drink alcohol more than 5 days per month and the more days per month that they drink, the higher the average number of drinks per setting; those who drink 6 or more days average 5.6 drinks at a time. Nearly 3 drinks per setting: those who drink 6 or more days average 5.6 drinks at a time. Nearly one-third (31%) are under the impression that a can of beer is less intoxication than a shot of hard liquor. 16% have experience "black-out" spells where they had no memory of a previous evening of heavy drinking 9 1 consider this a sine qua non of later addiction). 89% of teenagers between the age of 16 and 19 years of age start drinking between their 11th and 16th birthdays. Other studies show that 90% of marijuana using children, smoked cigarettes or drank first and that children who drink are 50 times more likely to use cocaine than non-users.

You needn't lose your anonymity, just show this article to those "soccer moms."