|
Dear Worried,
If you think there is a drug problem, you
must rule it out. You have already picked up a few warning
signs. Usually one or two signs can't be considered much
evidence--unless, of course, (1) you find your son's drug
stash or (2) you catch him or her in the act of using. Warning
signs taken separately, may mean little, but added together
they can amount to a lot. At the Van Ost Institute we have
a saying that goes "If it looks like a duck, walks
like a duck, and quacks like a duck, its probably a duck."
What you should look for is not a single
sign but a cluster of them, not a single act but
a developing pattern of behavior, not a single episode but
a series of them. Your parental instinct, plus some of the
following signs which we at the Institute have derived from
clinical experience with drug-abusing kids may help you
put two and two together and, perhaps, convince you of the
need for immediate action.
1. A CHANGE IN FRIENDS. It's perfectly
natural for youngsters to be defensive about their friends
when parental criticism is voiced. Kids will respond in
support of their new friends if its even suggested that
they are using drugs.
Part of adolescence, as we know, is pulling
away from the family to some degree, but if kids start using
drugs, the pulling away becomes a vehicle to allow them
to maintain their drug use. They create their own "family"
of drug using friends, to the exclusion of others.
2. A CHANGE IN THE YOUNGSTER HIM/HERSELF.
Has your son turned irritable, unpredictable, unloving,
sullen, oversensitive, easily provoked, uncooperative, hostile,
secretive, foul mouthed, or more than just a little moody?
One thing all kids do, if they start using drugs, is distance
themselves from their family. There is no such thing as
a drug abusing kid who is also maintaining a close, loving
caring relationship with the family.
3. A CHANGE IN THE WAY THE CHILD LOOKS
AND FEELS. Has a relatively neat kid become sloppy most
of the time? Has your son developed rock-star clothing styles
that make him look as if he could be a druggie? Has he developed
unusual sleeping and eating patterns? Has there been any
weight loss or gain? Have you noticed any of the following:
bloodshot eyes? sniffles? stuffy nose? frequent sore throats?
acting depressed? paranoia? lingering colds and coughs?
nervousness/tremors? memory lapses? bizarre behavior?
4. A CHANGE IN SCHOOL ATTITUDE.
Has your son's school grades become erratic? Is he skipping
classes? Has he lost interest in extracurricular activities
as well as academics? Has he been disrespectful of his teachers?
5. MISSING MONEY OR PERSONAL BELONGINGS.
Money spent on drugs dissipates within seconds. An adult
cocaine habit can take megabucks to support but where do
our kids get the bucks to spend on lesser glows? Could your
son be living beyond the means you give him or he earns?
Are you missing money? Appliances? Jewelry?
WORRIED, I have asked you to think of warning
signs in the plural, but from the little you have already
told me, I urge you to seek a diagnostic workup by a trained
addiction professional immediately if not sooner. If there
is no problem, fine..no harm has been done. But if there
is, you may have rescued you son from falling victim to
the hell of addiction. Call me if I can be of some help.
Good luck!
|
