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Dear
Dr. Bill,
I read "I'm Your Disease" in my local
paper. It is scary. By the grace of God and
the fellowship of AA, I now have six years.
I have a question-- My son in his early 30's
has a gambling problem. There is only one meeting
a week but he can't go because of work. Can
you research and find out where the meetings
are in the Dumont area? Now he is willing to
attend, thank God. Looking forward to hearing
from you.
EMH-
Dumont
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Dear
EMH,
Congratulations for your six years of sobriety
in AA. As you well know as a recovered person,
recognizing and addressing ones own addiction,
then doing something about it oneself is key
to starting on the path to really getting well.
So, your request posed a bit of a philosophical
problem.....Your son is 30 years old; no longer
a child. It is he, not you who should be inquiring.
So, let him do the rest of the research....
he needs to call Gamblers Anonymous (GA)
at 1-800-426-2537 or the New Jersey
Hotline at: 877-994-2465. If he has access
to the internet, there are tons of good info
available at the GA web-site: isomain@gamblersanonymous.org.
Your
son is not alone with his problem. Repeated
national studies show that from five to seven
percent of the general population are compulsive
gamblers; with over a quarter of them also addicted
to alcohol or other drugs. They are not only
found at roulette wheels, betting on sports
events or lining up for lottery tickets... 12%
of New Jersey gamblers are stock market addicts.
Only 12% finished college, with a fairly even
distribution between white and blue collar workers.
The average first bet occurs in middle school
at age 13!! (See next weeks column for more
on this). 79% bet on sports events, 74% on cards,
35% on the numbers, 5% on bingo and 3% on dogs.
85% of former compulsive gamblers surveyed had
bet on horses (Our Acting Governor just signed
an off-track wagering bill, making betting as
easy as picking up the phone, saying, "We
ought to support all the people who make their
livelihood in thorough-bred and standard-bred
racing.") So, make gambling easier and
ignore the facts that: 75% of those surveyed
had committed a felony: 35% stole, 18% embezzled
and 22% passed bad checks for gambling money.
If
your son pulls up the GA web-site, he can confirm
his self diagnosis using the following questionnaire:
1.Do
you ever lose time from work due to gambling?
2.Is gambling making your home life unhappy?
3.Is it affecting your reputation? 4.Have you
ever felt remorse after gambling? 5.Do you ever
gamble to get money to pay debts or to solve
other financial problems? 6.Does gambling decrease
your ambition or efficiency? 7.After losing,
do you feel you must return as soon as possible
to win back your losses? 8.After a win, do you
have a strong urge to return and win more? 9.Do
you often gamble your last dollar? 10.Do you
ever borrow to finance gambling? 11.Have you
ever sold anything to finance gambling? 12.Are
you reluctant to use"gambling money"
for normal expenditures? 13.Does gambling make
you careless about your family's welfare? 14.Do
you ever gamble longer than you planned? 15.Have
you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16.Have you ever committed or considered committing
an illegal act to finance your gambling? 17.Does
gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18.Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations
create an urge to gamble? 19.Do you have an
urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few
hours of gambling? 20.Have you ever considered
suicide as a result of your gambling? (Most
compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least
seven questions.)
To
quote an expert, "Money is the disease
and the high is very similar to that of cocaine...
it has three stages: winning, losing and desperation."
The last stage can kill.
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