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Dear Dr. Bill:
My husband and I have a friend
who usually is a nice guy...but, sometimes,
when he drinks too much, he gets violent
and has even beaten his wife a couple
of times. She seems to accept this behavior
as, she says, that the same thing happened
in his home when the was a kid. Is this
a family trait or is it only the alcohol
that causes him to be violent?
Anonymous-Dumont
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Dear Anonymous,
Robert Mackey, PhD, CAC of the
Rutgers University Center of Alcohol
Studies, in a report on this subject,
noted that increasing attention is being
given by researchers to the strong statistical
connection (ranging from 44% to over
80%) between domestic violence and addiction
.. According to the National Woman Abuse
Prevention Project , alcoholism and
battering share the following characteristics:
Both are inter-generational, involve
denial and minimization of the problem,
and involve isolation of the family.
Any intervention with either of these
problems must be done by a professional
and should consider the implications
and presence of the other.
Violence between the
batterer's parents, abuse of the batterer
as a child, alcohol and drug abuse,
and economic stress are highly correlated
to spouse abuse. A major study by the
New York program, Abused Women's Aid
In Crisis, indicate that, although the
husband's alcohol abuse was a factor
in over 80% of their cases, none of
the victims sought help, suggesting
that, while alcohol abuse is not the
only factor in many cases of domestic
violence, wife battering may be very
common in families of alcoholics.
While research makes
it clear that men with drinking problems
are at high risk to be abusive toward
their spouses, it is also clear that
many men who have drinking problems
do not abuse their wives, and
that some men who don't have drinking
problems do abuse their wives.
That there is no direct causal relationship
between drinking and spouse abuse is
supported by most of the researchers.
The lack of a causal
relationship means that recovering from
one of the problems does not assure
resolution of the other. Treatment of
the addiction should precede treatment
for the battering; however, counseling
for battering can be initiated concurrently
or can be instituted initially to assist
in confronting the denial of the addiction.
In either case, the violence must
be addressed immediately, either
through counseling or through legal
sanctions and restraints, to assure
the safety of the victim(s). Victims
of domestic violence, whether alcoholism
is involved or not, should receive the
benefit of counseling and education
by trained professionals about
the cycles and dynamics of battering.
Victims should also be given the opportunity
to investigate family-of-origin issues,
beliefs, behavioral patterns, and role
expectancies that increase vulnerability
to abusive types of relationships. The
goal of intervention is to assure safety
and to empower both victim and abuser
to act independently in their best interests.
Domestic violence and
addiction can be a lethal mix. The loss
of control and effects of alcohol and
drug abuse contribute significantly
to the severity of beatings in abusive
relationships. FBI statistics indicate
that thirty percent of female homicide
victims are killed by their husbands
or boyfriends. Battering, unlike the
disease of addiction, is a socially
learned behavior which can be reversed
if the motivation for change is realized.
Techniques to control one's behavior
and social skills can be relearned to
eliminate the violent behavior, just
as life manageability can be attained
through a commitment to recovery. Just
as abstinence from a drug is alone insufficient
for true recovery, elimination of violent
behavior is just the first of many steps
toward breaking the cycle of domestic
violence
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